Ruth's Story: God's Hands

Hello.  Hello.  Shawn and I have a pretty awesome story to share.  Thanks for visiting Ruth's blog to hear what we have to say.

So... we are having a baby girl in May.  Yay!  We have named her Ruth.  I love, love sweet old lady names and family names.  Shawn's paternal grandmother's name is Ruth.  So, this name seemed prefect.  I am very happy she is a girl.  Shawn thought she would be a boy.  He was a little freaked out at first.  But he is already smitten with her.  He will be an awesome daddy to our daughter.

The story we want to share starts on Friday, November 30, 2012.  This was the day of our first ultra sound with my doctor, Dr. Dulaney.  It was also the day before my birthday.  We were excited to find out the gender of our baby.  We were also praying to hear that all was healthy and good.  When starting the ultra sound, Dulaney immediately got a not-so-lady-like picture of our baby.  From the first glimpse, Ruth made sure we knew she was a girl.  :)  As I was laughing at Shawn coming to terms with having a daughter to protect, Dulaney continued to examine things.  She was somewhat quiet.  I remember thinking "when is she going to say something."  Her first words were "everything looks fabulous."  Her next words were "but I can't get a good picture of the baby's right hand."  Dulaney was concerned enough that she wanted to send us to a specialist the following week.  

Once Dulaney had explained everything, I was initially just excited about finding out the gender and hearing that all else looked good.  My first thoughts were actually "okay... if everything looks fabulous, then we can handle having only one hand."  But then the crappy, human emotions started setting in.  I wanted to leave that doctor's office that evening feeling excited and ready to start my birthday weekend off with a bang.  But things didn't happen the way I had planned.  That birthday was probably the crappiest one ever.  I started worrying about what else might be wrong.  I cried alot while Shawn loved on me.  I prayed alot.  The worry kind of consumed me that weekend.  Shawn actually had a comedy gig the night of my birthday.  I wanted to stay home and have a pity party.  But I knew I had to pull things together so we could both succesfully make it through the show.  The show was pretty awesome and helped give me a break from the worries and sad feelings.

On Tuesday, December 4, 2012, we had our first appointment with the specialist.  I was anxious to know more but still worried that other things might be wrong.  One of the nurses did the ultra.  She took her time to thoroughly assess everything.  As she was examining the right arm, she stated "well there is the right hand."  For about three seconds, we were extremely relieved.  I was very surprised, and Shawn said "well, we can leave now."  But moments later, the nurse said "oh, it is the left hand that has the issue."  Shawn and I just crashed.  Those few moments were so draining - we were up one minute and then back down the next.  After the nurse finished the ultra sound, we went to a room to wait on the specialist.  I just prayed "please don't let anything else be wrong."  We seemed to wait forever.  When the specialist came in, he confirmed for us that everything else looked really good.  He explained that Ruth didn't have anything past her left wrist.  She might have had a few small bones budding out but nothing else was there.  He offered some ideas on what might have caused this.  He used very big words.  But all of the possible explanations just didn't seem to fit.  After leaving the office, Shawn told me that he started zoning out during the specialist's explanation.  Shawn said that those big words only meant that the doctor didn't really have any idea why Ruth didn't have a left hand.  Shawn said that God is in control and only He has the true explanation.  I agreed with Shawn.  My regular doctor, Dr. Dulaney, would later tell us "it is just bad luck."  Neither doctor offered us any guaranteed reason for what we had discovered about Ruth.

The specialist wanted to see us in a month to follow up and just check on Ruth's progress.  When we left the specialist's office that Tuesday, we started feeling more peace about our baby.  We were really relieved to hear that all else looked really good.  We started picturing this beautiful, confident, funny, sarcastic little girl with only one hand.  We started feeling more and more excited.  The Lord really relieved me of the worry and sadness that seemed to consume me at first.  My prayers started to change too.  I went from saying "God please just give her two hands" to "God please give her two hands if it will help her and if it will glorify You - please don't give her two hands for my selfish reasons."  This baby inside of me is not mine - she is the Lord's.  My life is not mine - it is the Lord's.  I have no control over what is happening on the inside of me.  I can eat right and take care of myself, but I can't control anything else.  Even when Ruth is born, there will be so many things I still won't be able to control about her.  All Shawn and I can do is place her in the Lord's hands.  We have to give Him the control and let Him lead the way.

Between appointments, we started sharing Ruth's story with our church and several close friends.  So many people were praying for our little baby.  On January 2, 2013, we went back to the specialist.  The same sweet nurse did our ultra sound again.  This time we were able to get good pictures of Ruth's face.  I remember thinking "I don't know who she looks like, but she really looks familiar."  :)  Ruth also popped up her right hand and decided to flip off the camera.  :)  The nurse made sure to get us a picture of that.  Prior to the appointment, Shawn had said that he wanted Ruth to flip off the camera as a sign to the world saying "God is making me just as I am supposed to be.  Leave me alone."  (LOL)  If you know my husband, you understand him and his request.  The nurse continued to thoroughly assess everything as she had done at the last appointment.  She confirmed that all else still looked really good.  The nurse took extra time to examine the left arm.  As she inspected things, we started to notice that there had actually been growth since the last visit.  Ruth now had somewhat of a palm, four little bones for fingers, and a little bone for the thumb.  Those things were not there four weeks earlier.  The nurse seemed very impressed and was prompted to ask if we had people praying us.  The little hand was actually growing.  We were so excited to hear the news and to also be able to share it with others.

God is very real.  He listens to our prayers.  He knows the plans for our lives.  Trust in Him.  He always knows what is best.  His plans are always prefect even when we don't understand or even when we don't like them.  As all babies, Ruth is a true miracle.  Shawn and I are here to serve God and this new precious life.  We are very excited to experience our future with Ruth.  

We are looking forward to the next specialist appointment.  We go back in about two weeks.  Please return to Ruth's blog to follow her story.  Thanks so much for letting us share this with you.

Much love,

Wendy and Shawn