Your Agenda

I read a Facebook post recently by a school teacher from Tulsa.  Her goal seems to be that she wants to encourage the world to look at these police shootings, including the recent one in Tulsa, through the eyes of the children in her school.

In the post, she explained that the school had some discussion groups to help the students process what happened.  She starts by saying that she picked a news article to read to the students so everyone would be informed about the police shooting in Tulsa.  After this, the students discussed and asked questions.  Some questions were... Why did they have to kill him? Why were they afraid of him? Why does [student] have to live life without a father? What will she do at father/daughter dances? Who will walk her down the aisle? Why did no one help him after he was shot? Hasn't this happened before? Can we write her cards? Can we protest?  What made him a big bad dude? - Was it his height? His size? The color of his skin?  One student comments with... "I wish white people could give us a chance. We can all come together and get along. We can all be united."

Those are some interesting thoughts and questions to consider.  But I have one big problem with this discussion group.  The teacher picked one article about the situation to share with her class.  The TEACHER picked ONE article about the situation to share with her class.  What article did she pick? What details about the shooting were shared in the article?  What details about the shooting were left out?  Did the article share every perspective?  Or was the article skewed toward one single way of thinking? 

I have some questions that I think should be added to the list... Why did the victim stop his car in the middle of the road and leave the doors open?  Why did the police feel so threatened that they had to call in for back up - including a police helicopter?  Why did the victim not listen to the police?  Why did the victim not listen to the police when he had guns pointed at him?  Why was the victim walking away from the police back to his car?  Why did the victim have drugs in his car?  And what about these questions... How is the lady police officer doing?  Is she okay after feeling like she had to take a life in order to protect her fellow officers and herself?

I believe this teacher probably shared an article based on her perspective of how she believed this Tulsa shooting occurred.  Maybe it was intentional - maybe it wasn't.  But either way, it is not her job to influence her students to think like she does.  I know it happens all of the time all over the place.  But teachers are supposed to encourage students to think for themselves, to gather all the facts, to figure things out for themselves, to purse situations from every possible angle.  Teachers are not supposed to encourage students to blindly believe the first piece of news or the first perspective that comes their way.  Teachers are not supposed to teach our students to be singled minded.

This teacher ended up using her students to spread her own agenda.  Whether she intended to or not, that is what she did.  She presented a one-sided perspective and did not challenge her students to look deeper or think for themselves.

Ruth's Story: Ruthie Roo

Hello!

We are 12 weeks in!  Sorry it has taken this long to offer an update on our sweet baby.  Momhood is soo busy.  :)

We welcomed Ruthie on April 30, 2013 at 8:11pm.  Dr. Dulaney was going to induce me on Ruth's due date, May 2nd.  But Ruth decided to come on her own.  After 10 hours of labor and 2 1/2 hours of pushing, I ultimately had to have a c-section.  She weighed 8lbs 6oz and was 21 inches long.  And as her daddy put it, "Ruthie has 5 little fingers and 5 little nubbies."

Ruth is a very healthy baby girl.  The hospital and her pediatrician have found no other issues or concerns - which is an answered prayer.  Our pediatrician, Dr. Frizzell, believes that her hand is just an isolated incident.  He did refer us to an orthopedic doctor just to get a consultation.  Dr. Beaty at the Campbell Clinic is great!  He took X-rays of her arm/hand.  The X-rays show that Ruth has her radius and ulna.  However, there are no bones in the wrist area.  He told us that bones could still form.  He said that it is still too early to know how her nubby may form.  The appointment turned out to be more about our chance to ask questions.  Dr. Beaty was very patient and thorough.  He said that there is really no way to know why Ruth was born without her left hand.  He said that the "amniotic band" theory is just one of a long list of theories as to why her hand didn't develop.  For the most part, he said that occupational therapy seems to be unnecessary.  He explained that she will probably learn to do things very well on her own, and it will simply amaze us.  He kind of normalized things too.  He said that all of us have a dominate hand and the other hand is the assistant.  He said Ruth's dominate hand will obviously be the right and her left nubby will just assist her.  He wants us back when she is about 9 months old just to check things out.

I have had several different thoughts and emotions since bringing her home.  I have cried some because of my mom-worries.  But my worries have not consumed me - which is an answered prayer.  Actually, I usually forget that she has only one hand.  It is just normal now.  When we introduce her to someone new, at times we have pointed out her hand and shared her story.  But other times, we don't mention it, and I don't even think people notice.  When I daydream about her future, I can see her doing normal kid things and then us having to remind ourselves that she completed the task with only one hand.  We feel so very blessed to have a healthy baby girl.  Having a baby is soo awesome!  I can't believe we get to raise Ruth and watch her grow.  She is such a blessing and a joy.  I now understand the "mom-love".

One last thing... a couple of kiddos from church have said some things that are definitely worthy of sharing.  Kids understand and get life and God better than we adults.

From Dalton and his mom: "We were just looking at all of the beautiful pics of Ruthie. At one point we were talking about her little hand, and, at first, Dalton was sad for her. But then, after thinking a minute, He said, 'Well, doesn't the Bible say that God makes all things and He makes them all good?' (That's his version of Romans 8:28.) So stinkin sweet and so true. Love u guys!" 

From Maddie and her mom: "Maddie had been asking a lot questions, and after talking to her about it all... She just shook her head and said 'mom - God must have something really big planned for her since He made her so special!!' I love the way our kiddos have such faith and understanding!"

Thank you for letting us share our story!  We will keep you posted.

Much love,

Wendy and Shawn

Ruth's Story: Getting Close

Hello everyone!

Here is an update on our sweet baby.

On March 13, 2013, we went to the specialist for the fourth time.  The ultrasound showed no change in Ruth's left hand.  We just see a little nubby with five possible bones attached.  I asked the nurse some questions just because I was curious.  The nurse talked about how she sees about five of these cases a year.  She explained that the issues with Ruth's left hand were probably caused by an amniotic band.  Since Ruth seems to have no other issues, this theory seems to make the most sense.  Below is a little information on amniotic bands.

Amniotic banding can affect approximately 1 in 1,200 live births.  It occurs with the partial rupture of the amniotic sac. This rupture involves only the amnion; the chorion remains intact. Fibrous bands of the ruptured amnion float in the amniotic fluid and can encircle and trap some part of the fetus. Later, as the fetus grows but the bands do not, the bands become constricting. This constriction reduces blood circulation and causes congenital abnormalities. In some cases a complete "natural" amputation of a digit(s) or limb may occur before birth.  Amniotic bands are considered an accidental event, and it does not appear to be genetic or hereditary.  The likelihood of it occurring in another pregnancy is remote. The cause of amniotic bands is unknown.  So, there are no known preventative measures.

(This information did come from wikipedia.  But it does seem to summarize what we have been told over the last few months.)

Also during the ultrasound, we saw hair!  It better be curly!  :)  The nurse further assessed Ruth to see if my blood sugar issues were causing any problems.  If blood sugar is a problem, the placenta would be larger than normal, and Ruth would have extra baby fat.  The nurse said the placenta was the right size and Ruth has not too tubby.  She stated that if Ruth was going to be a big baby it would be because of genetics - not blood sugar.  So, Ruth and I have daddy to thank for that!  :)  After the ultrasound, we were told by the specialist to only return if Dr. Dulaney requested it.  We left the office feeling very blessed that Ruth seems to be a very healthy baby with no other issues.

We are getting so close now.  On Thursday, we hit the 38 week mark!  So far, we are dealing really well with the reality that Ruth could be born with only a partial hand.  But I talked with Shawn recently about how there will probably be a "second reality check" for me when we see Ruth in person.  I will need some private family time after she is born so I have a chance to take everything in and get to know this little miracle - no matter what God decides to do with her hand.  No matter what medical information we have been given, God is always in control.  We don't know what to really expect until she arrives.  So, we will see what God has in store.  We feel exited and blessed no matter what!

I continue to pray for what God thinks is best for her.  I don't know what is best for our baby - but God does.  I just feel alot of peace when I trust His plans and not my own.  Like I have said before, I haven't prayed specifically or boldly for a full grown left hand.  Sometimes I wonder if that is okay.  We have soo many folks praying for us - friends close and far away, folks from Henderson, folks from Maryland, both of our families, our Whitten Church family, and more.  I know that some of those prayers are specific and bold.  So, I have asked myself if I was praying the right thing.  Am I doubting what God can do?  Do all these other people have more faith than I do?  The answer seems to be that none of us is wrong - whether someone is praying for God's will or if someone is specifically praying for a full grown hand.  Ruth's story means something different to each person who prays for her.  God has individual lessons for us to learn through life's experiences.  God can take one experience and teach many different lessons.  Everyone isn't affected in the same way, and everyone doesn't have the same lesson to learn.  We all learn something unique from life's surprises.  So, our prayers will also be unique.  I have thought alot about prayer throughout our baby Ruth experience.  God listens to us.  God wants us to pray because He wants an intimate relationship with us.  As long as our prayers follow God's word, we should pray for it.  Seek Him, and follow His word.  There we will find answers, direction, and understanding.

We will keep you posted as Ruth makes her arrival.  We are so excited to meet her!  Thank you for letting us share our story.

Much love,

Wendy and Shawn

Ruth's Story: Trusting Him

Hello again!

Update on Baby Ruth

We went back to the specialist on January 31, 2013.  It was a good visit.  All continues to look good.  She is very healthy.  The nurse measured her weight at 2 lbs 12 oz.  She should have been about 2 lbs 5 oz.  They estimated her weight at birth to be about 9 lbs.  :(  I hope they are off a little on that one!  As for Ruth's left hand, things look similar to as they did four weeks prior.  She still shows us somewhat of a palm, four little bones for fingers, and a bone for a thumb.  The specialist told us to come back in six weeks instead of four weeks.  So, he seems to think Ruth is progressing well enough to space out our appointments.  We are very happy about her healthy development.  And we will continue to pray for sweet Baby Ruth.

Lessons Mom Has Learned

Since this appointment, I have thought alot about prayer.

When leaving the appointment, I had mixed emotions and thoughts for a bit.  I was kind of bummed for a second.  We had left the last appointment with good news to share.  This time we would leave with news that there was no new change.  For a moment, I thought "well, I guess God didn't answer that prayer."  Then I told myself "wait a minute, Wendy - you haven't been specifically praying for two hands."  I have been praying that God would give her two hands if it would help her and if it would glorify Him.  Then another thought followed... God doesn't guarantee that our prayers will be answered.  God tells us to ask and be bold in our prayers.  God tells us that He listens.  But God doesn't say we will get exactly what is requested.

Prayer is more about our connection to God.  When we pray, we are communicating with God.  In prayer, I tell God my worries, concerns, and hopes.  He desires a constant relationship with us.  Prayer helps build that relationship.  Through a close connection with God, we gain perspective on life's blessings and life's frustrations.  This connection gives us understanding, peace, direction, discernment and more.  Life makes sense when we trust in the Lord.  But we don't understand that trust unless we pray and study His Word.

Prayer is not about what we can get out of God.  Prayer is about how we connect with God and build trust in Him.  This trust leads to peace.  I am very grateful for the peace I have about our baby Ruth.

Much love,

Wendy and Shawn

Ruth's Story: God's Hands

Hello.  Hello.  Shawn and I have a pretty awesome story to share.  Thanks for visiting Ruth's blog to hear what we have to say.

So... we are having a baby girl in May.  Yay!  We have named her Ruth.  I love, love sweet old lady names and family names.  Shawn's paternal grandmother's name is Ruth.  So, this name seemed prefect.  I am very happy she is a girl.  Shawn thought she would be a boy.  He was a little freaked out at first.  But he is already smitten with her.  He will be an awesome daddy to our daughter.

The story we want to share starts on Friday, November 30, 2012.  This was the day of our first ultra sound with my doctor, Dr. Dulaney.  It was also the day before my birthday.  We were excited to find out the gender of our baby.  We were also praying to hear that all was healthy and good.  When starting the ultra sound, Dulaney immediately got a not-so-lady-like picture of our baby.  From the first glimpse, Ruth made sure we knew she was a girl.  :)  As I was laughing at Shawn coming to terms with having a daughter to protect, Dulaney continued to examine things.  She was somewhat quiet.  I remember thinking "when is she going to say something."  Her first words were "everything looks fabulous."  Her next words were "but I can't get a good picture of the baby's right hand."  Dulaney was concerned enough that she wanted to send us to a specialist the following week.  

Once Dulaney had explained everything, I was initially just excited about finding out the gender and hearing that all else looked good.  My first thoughts were actually "okay... if everything looks fabulous, then we can handle having only one hand."  But then the crappy, human emotions started setting in.  I wanted to leave that doctor's office that evening feeling excited and ready to start my birthday weekend off with a bang.  But things didn't happen the way I had planned.  That birthday was probably the crappiest one ever.  I started worrying about what else might be wrong.  I cried alot while Shawn loved on me.  I prayed alot.  The worry kind of consumed me that weekend.  Shawn actually had a comedy gig the night of my birthday.  I wanted to stay home and have a pity party.  But I knew I had to pull things together so we could both succesfully make it through the show.  The show was pretty awesome and helped give me a break from the worries and sad feelings.

On Tuesday, December 4, 2012, we had our first appointment with the specialist.  I was anxious to know more but still worried that other things might be wrong.  One of the nurses did the ultra.  She took her time to thoroughly assess everything.  As she was examining the right arm, she stated "well there is the right hand."  For about three seconds, we were extremely relieved.  I was very surprised, and Shawn said "well, we can leave now."  But moments later, the nurse said "oh, it is the left hand that has the issue."  Shawn and I just crashed.  Those few moments were so draining - we were up one minute and then back down the next.  After the nurse finished the ultra sound, we went to a room to wait on the specialist.  I just prayed "please don't let anything else be wrong."  We seemed to wait forever.  When the specialist came in, he confirmed for us that everything else looked really good.  He explained that Ruth didn't have anything past her left wrist.  She might have had a few small bones budding out but nothing else was there.  He offered some ideas on what might have caused this.  He used very big words.  But all of the possible explanations just didn't seem to fit.  After leaving the office, Shawn told me that he started zoning out during the specialist's explanation.  Shawn said that those big words only meant that the doctor didn't really have any idea why Ruth didn't have a left hand.  Shawn said that God is in control and only He has the true explanation.  I agreed with Shawn.  My regular doctor, Dr. Dulaney, would later tell us "it is just bad luck."  Neither doctor offered us any guaranteed reason for what we had discovered about Ruth.

The specialist wanted to see us in a month to follow up and just check on Ruth's progress.  When we left the specialist's office that Tuesday, we started feeling more peace about our baby.  We were really relieved to hear that all else looked really good.  We started picturing this beautiful, confident, funny, sarcastic little girl with only one hand.  We started feeling more and more excited.  The Lord really relieved me of the worry and sadness that seemed to consume me at first.  My prayers started to change too.  I went from saying "God please just give her two hands" to "God please give her two hands if it will help her and if it will glorify You - please don't give her two hands for my selfish reasons."  This baby inside of me is not mine - she is the Lord's.  My life is not mine - it is the Lord's.  I have no control over what is happening on the inside of me.  I can eat right and take care of myself, but I can't control anything else.  Even when Ruth is born, there will be so many things I still won't be able to control about her.  All Shawn and I can do is place her in the Lord's hands.  We have to give Him the control and let Him lead the way.

Between appointments, we started sharing Ruth's story with our church and several close friends.  So many people were praying for our little baby.  On January 2, 2013, we went back to the specialist.  The same sweet nurse did our ultra sound again.  This time we were able to get good pictures of Ruth's face.  I remember thinking "I don't know who she looks like, but she really looks familiar."  :)  Ruth also popped up her right hand and decided to flip off the camera.  :)  The nurse made sure to get us a picture of that.  Prior to the appointment, Shawn had said that he wanted Ruth to flip off the camera as a sign to the world saying "God is making me just as I am supposed to be.  Leave me alone."  (LOL)  If you know my husband, you understand him and his request.  The nurse continued to thoroughly assess everything as she had done at the last appointment.  She confirmed that all else still looked really good.  The nurse took extra time to examine the left arm.  As she inspected things, we started to notice that there had actually been growth since the last visit.  Ruth now had somewhat of a palm, four little bones for fingers, and a little bone for the thumb.  Those things were not there four weeks earlier.  The nurse seemed very impressed and was prompted to ask if we had people praying us.  The little hand was actually growing.  We were so excited to hear the news and to also be able to share it with others.

God is very real.  He listens to our prayers.  He knows the plans for our lives.  Trust in Him.  He always knows what is best.  His plans are always prefect even when we don't understand or even when we don't like them.  As all babies, Ruth is a true miracle.  Shawn and I are here to serve God and this new precious life.  We are very excited to experience our future with Ruth.  

We are looking forward to the next specialist appointment.  We go back in about two weeks.  Please return to Ruth's blog to follow her story.  Thanks so much for letting us share this with you.

Much love,

Wendy and Shawn